It's Your Birthday
Today
Today is your Birthday, you'd be 26 years old. I find myself wondering if you are still growing in age, or will you forever be 19...
I remember with fondness the day I gave birth to you, how scared I was. At such a young age, I didn't know quite what to expect. I had just turned 17 two weeks prior to your birth.
I remember your past birthdays celebrated, smiles, laughter, and excitement... happier times. I baked a home made cake for your first birthday, chocolate, and it didn't turn out so great. You were too little to care, as your little chunky legs carried you around the back yard where we celebrated your first birthday.
I think of the what ifs... how we would celebrate your birthday today. With your favorite foods, steamed shrimp and some decadent chocolate desert. No doubt you'd want some expensive designer jeans or sneakers, as you were all about keeping up with current trendy styles.
I can just picture you.... so tall and handsome, your bright smile stretching from ear to ear. Your blue eyes glistening like sapphires. When you were happy, you really lit up the room with your presence.
Today Chris, I celebrate your life, and Spirit. I celebrate the 19 years you were here with me, and the you I have come to know since you've left this earth. I celebrate you in my heart, with each tear that falls at my cherished collection of memories, no birthday cake or expensive gifts, just me being so very grateful for you.
I know you are by my side, but I miss you still, always and forever.
Until we meet again my beautiful boy.
All my love,
Mom
33
You'd be thirty three today... You'd be a grown man, maybe with a family, grandbabies for me to love, spoil, and get right what I didn't with you. I feel so empty here without you...
